Kurt hates people with collection tins and tells one in the pub to piss off! Lindsay says he is tight and Penny says he's always asking for help so why can't he help others. He says he never asks for help. However, Kurt and Brian have a race to the staff room when Kurt says he is the fittest, but Kurt can't stop and falls over some chairs and says he can't breathe. Brian puts him the recovery position but there's a loud crack and Kurt can't move. He gets taken to hospital and comes home in a wheelchair. He now needs a lot of help and tells Brian he has to help him because it was his fault.
Brian does everything for him, pushes him around all the time, takes him to the toilet and has to carry him up and down stairs. Kurt then discovers he can walk after all but doesn't tell Brian and makes him carry him up and down stairs even when he doesn't need to go.
Clare asks him if he would like to be a SENCO. Kurt doesn't know what one is so Clare tells him it means he gets paid a bit more and does less teaching. Kurt says he'll do it if he does no teaching at all and Clare agreees. He sets up office in the huge disabled toilet and thinks he only has to look after three students. He thinks he's important because he has a budget and goes round pointing out everything thats discriminatory and even takes the doors off in case someone has no arms! Clare then tells him there are in fact 57 students with special needs and Kurt needs to tell the parents of one that he can't read or write. His father is angry and comes to the school to find Kurt. As soon as Kurt sees him he gets out of his wheelchair and runs off!
Penny and Lindsay are trying to see who's tighter out of Kurt and Matt. Penny insists it's Matt and it looks as though shes right. He won't give any money for Bob's birthday fund and he leaves Kurt stuck in the middle of the corridor but when the dinnerlady that doesn't like Lindsay collapses at Sport's Day, Matt is told to ring an ambulance but he doesn't. Lindsay reckons that was really nice of him as he knew Lindsay wanted him dead!
Nobody cares about Bob's birthday so he arranges his own party. On the night a stripper turns up and he acts like he's embarrassed and doesn't want her there but he obviously hired her.
Clare hires Patrick to cover Kurt's lessons and he and Penny get together.
Days of the week captions:
Monday - stamped on the donkey
Tuesday - in cracks on a piece of glass
Wednesday - ??
Thursday - on the back of a girl's jeans.