It's Simon's 27th birthday and him, Brian, Kurt and Susan get drunk and break into the school and leave a sheep in there and Simon steals a statue of Shakespeare's head which turns out to be Jenny's. Later Simon goes round to Maggie's, the girl he met the night before and discovers she is a police officer and isn't happy.
Simon discovers he's started to like a lot of inappropriate women lately including a student's mother and his dad's client who actually turns out to be about to marry his dad! Susan thinks Simon fancies Jenny which he denys but later, during a row with Jenny, tells her he really wants to sleep with her.
Because of Simon's dad and girlfriend, Marcella, having sex all the time, Simon keeps going round to Maggie's every night until she gets fed up and tells him to leave. He then goes round during the day and they agree to NOT have a relationship with each other, together.
In this episode we learn Susan's the one everyone goes to for advice, Jenny's the strict one, Liz is very nosey and Simon is lazy and wants nothing more than the kids to like him. An example of this is when one student, Teddy, tattoos himself and asks Simon not to tell anyone so he doesn't.
Days of the week captions:
Monday - a billboard
Tuesday - on a piece of paper in the photocopier
Wednesday - a man holding up a sign.